He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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