Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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