Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
