drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize