I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
