This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
