where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
