So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
