There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize