He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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