HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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