Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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