there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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