thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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