This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
