its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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