ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
