I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
