So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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