Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
