..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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