I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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