my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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