So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
