Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
