Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
either way he was missing a nipple.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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