So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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