I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
