What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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