Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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