my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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