Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
