this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
