he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
