Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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