i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize