Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Drunk is a universal language darling
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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