dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
