somebody snuck up and got me drunk
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just blew my weed a kiss
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I have post one night stand depression
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