He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
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you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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