She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
