weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Found your dick twin last night
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
