garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
