She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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