i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize