New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
