Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
