8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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