but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
