How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
