you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize