Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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