OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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