Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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