i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
