Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
