I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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