No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Is it because I queefed?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
