How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Randomize
