He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
